omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
