Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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