"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
