DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
