Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
