We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
