yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
