so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
