So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
