between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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