I bet he comes in French.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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