Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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