A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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