I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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