Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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