Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
