after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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