The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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