just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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