I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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