I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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