you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
