I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
