We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
