3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
