Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
