I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
