ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
