He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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