used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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