It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to fling myself into the sun
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
