so that wasnt chicken after all
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
