i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
