Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think my vagina is haunted
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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