and i looked up. we had an audience...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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