it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
