im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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