Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
