I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Boobs speak an international language.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
