i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
