Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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