I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
