felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
