How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
