is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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