Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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