hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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