Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
