You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
