It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
