Don't you send me to vm
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
