Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
