so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if only i could text you this smell
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
