Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
